Practicing Medicine

As I embarked on the journey of sharing the pathology report with my loved ones, I recognized the weight of the news I was about to disclose. Despite the gravity of the situation, I felt compelled to extend this crucial information to those closest to me, acknowledging their right to decide their level of involvement in my journey. Understanding that each individual copes with adversity differently, I wanted to honor their emotions and perspectives by offering them autonomy in navigating this challenging time alongside me. Whether they chose to stand steadfastly by my side or needed space to process their own feelings, I respected their decisions and remained committed to fostering an environment of understanding and support. While it’s not uncommon for people to distance themselves in the face of adversity, I firmly believe that it’s more about individual capacity to cope rather than a reflection of their feelings toward the person affected.

Coping with difficult news is a deeply personal experience, encompassing a spectrum of emotions from shock and denial to sorrow and eventual acceptance. As I shared the pathology report with my loved ones, I witnessed firsthand the diverse ways in which people processed the news. Among them, my cousin struggled particularly with the weight of the revelation. Knowing her to be a visual person who found reassurance in direct interaction, I understood that she needed to see me, hear me, to reaffirm that I remained the same individual she had known and loved. Recognizing her need for visual reassurance, I made a concerted effort to provide her with the opportunity for face-to-face interaction by going to grab a bite to eat before sharing the news. This allowed her to witness firsthand, that despite the diagnosis, I remained the same. My personality, wit, and spirit, all unchanged.

Then I disclosed the information to my close friends, who had become like family over the years. I was met with a multitude of emotions. Some reacted with disbelief, their minds struggling to comprehend the gravity of the news, while others’ eyes instantly welled with tears, mirroring the depth of their sorrow. No matter the moment, I somehow felt the need to remain as the strong one. My delivery was “matter of fact” without the emotion that is usually attached to news such as this. I allowed them to process the news with the raw emotion that was natural for them. To assist them with regaining their composure, I attempted to lighten the heavy atmosphere by injecting a touch of humor into the conversation. With a smile, I remarked that perhaps this was my golden opportunity to shed the stubborn 30 pounds I had been wanting to lose and get a brand-new set of breasts. Who wouldn’t want to trade in the used ones for a new pair? I have tried to focus on the good things instead of all the bad. For example, I did not anticipate that this journey would inadvertently fulfill the goal of getting the “mommy makeover” I had joked about in the past.

While observing the reactions of those within my circle regarding my diagnosis, I found myself strangely detached. It was as if the gravity of the situation hadn’t fully sunk in. Despite the whirlwind of appointments, telephone calls and other tasks demanding my attention, I felt numb to it all. I moved through each day with a sense of detachment. I adopted a task-oriented approach, focused on completing necessary appointments and obligations without allowing myself to dwell on the uncertainty of the future. While the coming weeks and months hold countless unknowns, I’m committed to facing each moment as it comes, finding solace in the precious time spent with loved ones and cherishing the moments of normalcy.