Practicing Medicine

After such a tiring week, I tried to sleep in late this morning. The sun beamed into my bedroom from the window above my bed causing me to awake from my slumber. As I opened my eyes, I noticed that my phone’s indicator for missed calls and unanswered text messages was on. I glanced at the senders of the messages and instantly knew that something was wrong. I received news that my daughter’s other role model had passed away the night before. The news hit me like a ton of bricks. Once I gathered a hold of my emotions, I went upstairs to tell her. Seeing her struggling with the pain of loss tore me apart, especially knowing there was little I could do to ease it. As a parent, it was excruciating to see her in such agony.

With the weight of surviving breast cancer looming in my mind, the realization that I was her only role model left became increasingly prominent. The responsibility of not just battling cancer but also being a beacon of strength and resilience for my daughter weighed heavily on my shoulders. I knew that every decision I made, every step I took in this journey, would not only shape my own future but also guide hers.

Knowing that I would have to fill the void for my daughter, I couldn’t help but think of a long time friend who was facing similar challenges. Just as she prepared to begin her breast cancer treatment plan, life threw her a curveball. Her husband’s sudden illness and subsequent passing left her shattered, with the heaviness of grief compounded by the responsibility of caring for their young children. It was a reminder of the unpredictable and often cruel nature of life’s twists and turns. It added another layer of misfortune to an already difficult time.

I knew I had to show my daughter that even in the darkest of times, there was strength to be found. I wanted to lead by example, demonstrating courage in the face of adversity. The passing of her role model and of my friend’s spouse served as a reminder of the fragility of life and the importance of cherishing every moment we have. I wanted to instill in my daughter the belief that no matter what life throws our way, we have the power to keep moving forward. As her only role model left, I was determined to show her the true meaning of resilience and hope.

I had not disclosed my diagnosis to my children yet and I’m happy I didn’t because this may have been a little too much for them to process. In the face of such uncertainty, I vowed to not leave my children. The thought of possibly leaving them behind weighed heavily on my heart. The idea of not being present to see them grow filled me with an overwhelming sense of sorrow. Imagining the pain and grief they would experience with having to navigate the world without me by their side was too painful to contemplate.

This fight for survival was not just about me—it was about ensuring that I could continue to be there for my children, to support them, and to guide them through life’s challenges. They were my greatest motivation, and I was willing to do whatever it took to stay with them, no matter what the future held.

Every treatment, every decision, and every moment of strength was fueled by the deep-seated desire to remain present. I want to witness their milestones, share in their joys, and provide them with the love and support they need. They were my reason to keep fighting even when the journey seemed insurmountable. I found renewed determination to overcome this battle with cancer and to ensure that I could continue to be a source of love, guidance, and strength for my children.

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