I hardly slept the night before and spent the majority of the night reading posts on Facebook. I had recently joined a breast cancer survivor group and looked for stories that mirrored mine. I was surprised to see there were many others who had a similar pathway, but no one truly articulated the same feelings I had at this point.
As the time continued to tick away, I knew I needed to get some sleep. I was scheduled to start my infusion therapy treatment today. The anticipation leading up to this day was almost unbearable. Every moment felt like an eternity as I waited for the clock to strike the appointed hour. The start of my treatment plan signaled the beginning of my journey.
I was instructed via MyChart to arrive at the facility for a 1pm infusion time. As I made my way to the infusion center, a mix of nerves and excitement coursed through my veins. I had been both dreading and eagerly awaiting this day. Despite the uncertainty and fear that lingered in the back of my mind, there was also a glimmer of hope. I believed that this treatment would bring me one step closer to recovery.
As I traveled on the tollway to the infusion center, my cellular phone rang. The name of the research coordinator appeared on the caller ID of my phone. Each ring shattered pieces of my bubble of anticipation and caused my mind to wonder. Has something else resulted from my testing? What if genetic testing was incorrect and I needed to have a different regimen? I couldn’t figure it out. With a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, I answered the call. I was informed that my infusion therapy treatment had been rescheduled due to issues with obtaining insurance approval. I was instructed to report to the infusion center the next day at 7:00am. That would be my new start date pending insurance approval.
The disappointment and frustration were overwhelming. I had mentally prepared myself for this day. I psyched myself up to face whatever challenges came my way, only to have the rug pulled out from under me at the last minute. It felt like a cruel twist of fate, a reminder that I was not in control of the events in my life now.
Despite the setback, I refused to let despair consume me. I took a deep breath and made the decision to treat myself to lunch at Pappadeaux’s. I needed to indulge in this moment of self-care, especially when stressors surrounded me. As I sat in the restaurant, savoring each bite of my meal, I allowed myself to momentarily forget the trials and tribulations that lay ahead. I enjoyed the moment and found comfort in this simple pleasure.
Practicing Medicine 
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